Tales of a Wandering Witch

Unheard & Drowning

2012-01-16T20:15:00.001-05:00

I really feel like I am completely ignored by everyone in my life. I keep trying to reach out and no one is there to take my hand. I feel so alone.

I am not really sure what to do anymore. Part of me just wants to retreat from the world completely. The other part of me wants to keep trying even though I keep being pushed to the side.

I am really struggling with:
- Chris's store is closing which means he is losing his job
- I already bring in the majority of the funds and with this addition I do not know what I am going to do.
- I put all my blogs on hold and my start of business off.
and honestly there is so much more.

I am just so tired. Goddess help me find strength because right now I feel broken in a million pieces held together with pieces of chewing gum.

News Flash

2012-01-09T23:00:00.002-05:00

Good evening. I have some bad news for all of you. Sadly this blog is on hiatus until at least the summer. This is due to economic upheavals and a move in my life and it is at this point in time impossible to keep up. Please stay tuned here for any breaking news. Thank you for reading and hopefully will be back up and running soon.

Trying

2011-11-02T21:29:00.000-04:00

try [trahy] verb, tried, try·ing, noun, plural tries.verb (used with object)
1.to attempt to do or accomplish
2.to test the effect or result of
3.to endeavor to evaluate by experiment or experience
4.to test the quality, value, fitness, accuracy, etc., of
5.Law. to examine and determine judicially, as a cause; determine judicially the guilt or innocence of (a person).

Such a simple word with so many meanings. This for me lately is definitely a state of being. Everything is about me trying.

Most importantly trying not to fail.

This is probably the hardest thing for me because I am so good at it. I haven't succeeded at anything since high school which really hurts.

I try so hard at everything all the time. This doesn't seem to change a thing. I always end up back where I was or worse off than I was before.

Yet I keep getting told to hop back up on the horse and smile.

How many times should a person do that?
How many times can a person do that without breaking?
How many times can I get criticized for not being able?

I just want to succeed and be happy is that too much to ask for?

Religion & It's Effect On An Area

2011-06-04T19:01:00.068-04:00

I never thought I would say this but its true, the religion of an area really does effect everything within that area. This past week I traveled to Montana (from New York) through Idaho onto Utah and back again.

When I went to Utah I went through a total culture shock. Everything there really has a ton to do with being Mormon and its all gigantic. For instance all the streets in Salt Lake City are numbered so that it all centers around the Mormon Temple. This in and of itself was so odd to me because my first thought was "separation of church and state anyone?".Not to mention all the other oddities of the area such as the amazing amount of food storage facilities, and the laws governing liquor stores and the alcohol content of beer.

I have yet to go to Rome but I wonder what their city is like and if the Vatican affects it as much as the Mormon Temple affects Utah.

I think we all know that Israel is very much effected by its religion and that of other people in the area.

Wouldn't it be really interesting to see a Pagan city?
I think a Pagan city would have tons of parks and co-op gardens and plenty of recycling facilities. I also would expect to see an advanced public transportation system that runs using electricity and maybe solar power so that there is less car pollution. Bike transportation would be the big thing. I think the street lights would be the kind that stops light pollution so we could all still see the stars.

The city instead of running around some monolith of one faith, it would run around a park that represents what it means to be a human. (Something like the Unisphere at the World's Fair Grounds in Queens, New York {picture from Wikipedia}). I think that would be a wonderful place.

Now if only we could all just agree to disagree on the differences each of us have within our own faith, band together, and support one another. "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it" should be our mantra when dealing with each other and the rest of the world so we can stop fighting over abstract ideas and grow to be better.

Happy Beltane!

2011-05-01T11:03:00.022-04:00

Hey everyone!

Back from my long crazy hiatus. Sometimes life doesn't just give you lemons... she chucks them at your head and yells run!

Basically what has been going on in my neck of the woods is..

My High Priestess and High Priest got married and I was the maid of honor which rocked even if it was a ton of work.
Was super sick for 2-3 months in which every week I was seeing a new doctor.
I broke up with my boyfriend of three and a half years (my longest relationship ever).
My apartment flooded.
Friends blowing up at each other...(there is more but that's the highlights)

Basically it was a couple of months of if anything could go wrong it did and thus my writing jumped it 3 sometimes 4 place in the grand scheme of things.

Finally things are much, much better!

My health is somewhat under control and paid off all medical bills.
Got a promotion in which I have more hours which is nice but not much else.
Learning better time management.
My apartment is getting back together.

Spring could not come fast enough for this witch!

Usually I love winter but this one dragged on with one problem after another. So far spring seems to be having a much better affect on my life. And I hope to be writing more frequently now that things have reached a more calmer pace.

Hope all is well with all of you and once again Happy Beltane!

A Very Personal Post

2010-09-22T15:57:00.000-04:00

*sigh* Chris has finally come to a decision regarding Montana.

He is going to stay in New York. He feels that he has to stay here to do what he wants to do. Even though most of what he does is done over the computer or phone line. I guess he just isn't ready.

This just really sucks because he has known about my move there before we even started dating. He says that this isn't the end of us but in a lot of ways I think it is. When I moved to Florida for four months he forgot what it was like to be with me. And since I don't plan on moving back I think he will forget much more.

Another thing that hurts is that all along he knew this is what I will be doing with my life but he didn't believe me. He thought I was blowing smoke. That hurts a lot because I pride myself on the fact that I stick by what I say and don't play games.

If I stay here I will grow to hate myself because instead of taking the chance I will have caved to him and pretty much said to myself that what I want isn't important and means nothing. I want to go to Montana because I will get to enjoy my nephews, go to school, have a chance. For those that don't know, New York is a slave state. You have no real chance to grow. It's overcrowded and everyone is competiting against each other. I am not saying that it isn't like this in other places but I am inclined to believe this is worse here. I am tired of having to always choose barely getting by to the life I want.

I just want my hard work to at least feel like I am doing something. At the very least I will be somewhere I actually want to live. Even if I am alone until he comes around (if he comes around). ;(

Autumn and What It Means To Me

2010-09-20T18:34:00.000-04:00

Ah... I finally feel alive again.

I guess this is odd for most people, but during the fall and winter is when I feel the best. During the Summer I generally am super depressed. I LOVE FALL!!! Winter is great too! and I fully enjoy Spring! But Summer I can do without except for the fact that I know that this is when all the yummy vegatables mature and bare their fruit for us.

I finally am starting to feel better. It was a really rough summer for me, lots of things changed and lots of goings on as you saw in the previous post.

I did get my Etsy shop up and it has my tarot readings in it but I have yet to add my card cases or spread sheets because I have been making alterations to them to make them even better. Feel free to stop by my shop (http://www.etsy.com/shop/CatWitch1987), I would love advice or feel free to buy some of my wares.

I also started cooking again which is something I LOVE to do but don't often get to do in the summer because it is too hot. I have already made two turkeys (97 cents a pound I couldn't resist), turkey stew, pumpkin lasagna, turkey casserole, and soon turkey croquettes. Oh! And I will start my baking again soon! So far I have three batches of money cookies to make by request.

I went to Mabon circle the other day. It was really nice and I felt really good afterward. What I found interesting is that what most people had to say about the change of the seasons was negative and all I could think of were the positives. Cooking, cuddling, blankets, brisk clean air, autumn leaves, Halloween, Samhain (yes, they are separate entities to me), Thanksgiving, etc.

So instead of thinking of the negatives of the season take the time to try and find the beauty in it!

Update Finally!

2010-08-29T15:35:00.001-04:00

It has been a long time since I have felt like writing. Both everything and nothing have been going on and a lot of hard decisions are being made. I guess what it is is that when I have so much going on my head is too busy to sit and write. Which really should be the time I write because it helps me vent.

Anyway, lots of things have been going on...

I started working with a coven (but I can not disclose much on this due to protecting their privacy)
I went away to New Hampshire (after working like a mad woman) with Chris and his family
Chris (my fiancé) and I are working out a couple of kinks but all is well
I came to many conclusions regarding my little place in the world (meaning: I will be moving again)
I more than likely will be opening my own shop on Etsy which will be nice. (I will post about it when I officially open up)

The coven thing is nice so far. It is a traditional Gardnerian coven which is very different from what I am used to. The High Priestess and High Priest are very nice and knowledgeable. The others there are very nice and I like them as well. There was only one person I didn't like at all but she isn't really part of the coven yet (technically neither am I yet) but she has got more than a few marbles loose (this is the type of thing I tend to avoid at all costs). Over all this is a much more positive coven experience than what I have come to expect.

New Hampshire was great! It is so pretty there. Chris and his family rent a house for the week which is different. Personally, I don't think I could rent out my home but staying in one was nice.

The house itself was gorgeous and on the lake (Lake Winnipesaukee).

It had plenty of bedrooms for the eight of us. (Chris, me, Chris's mom, dad, sister, aunt, cousin, and his cousin's girlfriend [now fiancé])

Chris and I stayed in this room. (The bed is a trundel bed)

The only drawbacks were the huge walk to the lake and the mucky lake bottom.

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The view from the shore. Totally worth the walk but not the acorns underfoot (evil acorns!).

Muck was icky which is why we took the boat to another part of the lake to swim.

This was the first time I have been with all of them over an extended period of time. I went on a motor boat and went tubing on a lake for the first time which was really fun. I also swam for the first time in a fresh water lake (I grew up on the ocean). Chris and I went to three different arcades. The first two where standard arcades but the third was awesome! The third arcade was at Funstop was all old school games; pong, joust, pacman of all varieties, tron, pin ball, etc. It also had a mini-golf section which was a blast. Instead of the standrard fare of things it had things from all over New Hampshire.

During the trip Chris and I had a lot of time to talk because it rained for three days (which stunk) but it allowed us time to just talk about all the things we have been trying to do at home only since we were away there were no distractions. I, in theory, will be moving in February to Montana (just in time for my birthday). I really hope I am able to do so cause its been a long time coming and I am tired of waiting. I have been wanting to move there for over five years at least. I love it there and at least I will have a chance unlike in New York (f***ing slave state) where I am unable to do anything except work to barely make ends meet.

I have been considering opening an Etsy shop for the longest time! I will be selling my card boxes, spread sheets, and maybe even tarot readings. I think this will be great because I will be able to give people things they have been wanting me to make! So, if any of you who read this have an Etsy shop please give me some pointers.

Overall, I will be back more regularly with all sorts of things I have been working on now that I have a much better state of mind. Keep an eye out on Flying Off The Shelves as well because there will be a few new witchie books up for review this week and in the coming month.

My Cat, Whedon's Answer To When I Try To Do Write/Work/Talk To People Other Than Him

2010-07-14T15:35:00.002-04:00

My evil but handsome fella.
This is his PET ME face.

My New Tarot Shelf

2010-06-12T00:17:00.002-04:00

I have been working on setting up my apartment a bit more which means finding some kind of new system. This is my new tarot shelf. As you can see I love tarot. I have twenty-one decks of cards that can be used for tarot purposes as of right now.

I love all my decks they all have such different voices.

From right to left and bottom up these are the decks I have:
1. Epicurean Tarot Recipe Cards
2. My Tarot-To-Go Box
3. The Housewives Tarot
4. Goddess Guidance Oracle Deck
5. Faery Wicca Tarot (sadly, missing one card)
6. DaVinci Tarot
7. Shapeshifter Tarot
8. Halloween Tarot
9. Whimsical Tarot
10. The Gendron Tarot
11. The Sacred Rose Tarot
12. The Herbal Tarot
13. The Vanessa Tarot
14. Egyptian Tarot
15. Barbara Walker Tarot
16. Blank Tarot which I am making myself
17. Alice in Wonderland Cards
18. Gypsy Witch Cards
19. Regular Playing Cards
20. Hanson-Roberts Tarot
21. Universal Waite Tarot
so far...

Plus my two candy cups filled with tootsie rolls and witchie ducks.

Do you have any witchie collections? Something that you just love to have around and really enjoy learning more about?

Reincarnation & Science: An Explanation

2010-05-17T02:20:00.001-04:00

Since many of you enjoyed my last post I decided to continue on the same vein...

First, we start must start with our central idea brought to us through Einstein. Einstein says that

"Energy can neither be created nor destroyed."

Souls have been seen as a type of energy for a very long time. The most common ways we see this today has been with the study of auras, and in various forms of paranormal research. Auras are the energy signature that a living person or ghost gives off which can be seen as color or as a heat signature (in the case of ghosts). Dead bodies do not have auras after a certain period of time (this varies). If a living body has an aura and a dead body does not you can say that auras are the visual of Soul Energy. Now in theology across cultures as well as Einstein we know the soul goes on because the soul is a type of energy.

To use a form of energy that we are familiar with you can use Sunlight as a comparison. Sunlight starts out as merely the energy released in an atomic reaction of helium and hydrogen, then it travels a long way to us and arrives in the form of light and heat. Sunlight then is changed into a form of food by plant life through photosynthesis. As you can see Sunlight energy is very mutable but is never destroyed merely changed. Sunlight in its simplest form as just light has many energy levels which you can see in a rainbows. Red light has a stronger energy which can be seen in its shorter wavelength, and a higher frequency where as Blue light has less energy which is seen by its longer wavelength and a lower frequency. You can also see different levels of energy in atomic structures of elements.

So now we have established that the Soul and Energy are connected on with ideas listed above.

Energy levels can be changed with the addition of more energy. For instance phase changes of water, a glass of water at room temperature is pretty stable and at one energy level but if you add heat (energy) the molecules start to speed up and soon you have water that is evaporating. The liquid water molecules were so sped up they entered a new energy level, gas.

If you look at an aura in a stable environment it looks pretty much the same for a while but then you add a positive stimuli (good feelings, positive experience) and the aura is now gaining more energy. For example think of a time in your life something really great happened and you felt like you could barely keep from keep your feet on the ground. If this were able to continue these feelings on a constant level your Soul would remain at a higher energy level, and vibration and be visually brighter.

Inversely, start taking energy away from the glass of water and you will end up with ice. Ice is at a lower energy level and the molecules can not move as much as the liquid or gaseous ones can thus to us it is inert. This can happen to Souls as well through bad feeling and reactions causing the Soul to lose energy. This would make you feel sad, or depressed, like you can't get out of bed and if these feelings were to continue your Soul would remain on a lower energy level, and vibration, being visually duller or murky.

Nature is a mixture of chaos and order tending towards disorder. Due to this I don't believe there is a "waiting room", heaven, or hell because that requires energy to just stop. Energy is basically always on the move. We have talked about Soul Energy when it meets stimuli but as a constant it also has energy like the liquid water. Your individual has its own signature energy level and vibration and like the water it can change. Think of your at rest level as the average of your highs and lows the more you experience either the higher or lower your at rest level will be.

Now by good and bad experiences it doesn't always mean something great happened and now you are happy or vice versa. It means how did that experience shaped you. If you won a game which is a great thing but are a sore loser you lower your energy,.

Let's say you start out as a green soul (green being the center wavelength of light in the ROYGBIV scale) meaning you have equal positive and negative experiences when you were born. Now you have 20 good experiences but 10 bad experiences in your whole life, your energy level ends up higher than it was at birth. Then you die, if you add up your good and bad experiences and have a more (positive) Soul energy level. This means that you will enter a more positive next life because you vibrate at the same rate as your next life.

As far as why we die, your body has its one vibration at rest, the original vibration you entered this world at. Think of your body as the energy fields of an atom, if an electron (your Soul) gets stimulated too much in either direction it will change energy fields (your Body).

Eventually, your Soul will vibrate at the same level as Universal energy and thus your energy (Soul) will no longer be able to enter a body but will rather go on as Universal Energy (always changing but not able to return to a corporeal form because the Soul energy will be so beyond "energy fields" as we know it.)

As far as where is the divine and magic in this very scientific discussion of energy I see it in the Universal Energy, in the higher corporeal forms (Buddah, Jesus, Zeus, Hera, Hecate, Athena, etc.) that we deem deity (through their higher energy, their experiences and merits), and in the Energy itself. Magic and the Divine are the Energy.

Also a shameless plug for my new book review blog: Flying Off The Shelves recently reviewed Which Witch Is Which by Patricia Telesco and Mutant Message Down Under by Marlo Morgan both of which could definitely be enjoyed by the you who read this blog.

Science vs. Witchcraft

2010-05-15T14:57:00.000-04:00

To me these topics are so important because not only am I a witch but I am also a scientist.

I adore the sciences and study them as much as humanly possible (much like my witchie studies). Now one would think, "How can you be a witch and a scientist? Don't they contradict each other?". (By the way this question was actually asked of me by my Physics professor after he very nicely asked me about my pentacle)

I am here to tell you they do not.

Let's take the case of magnetism. Magnets are a very commonly used in science to show both the attraction of quantum particles as well as the use of magnets themselves. Every kid at one time or another has played with magnets. What a lot of people forget is that magnets used to be magic!

Before science explained how magnets worked, how to make magnets, etc. they were the "unknown" and thus in the realm of the occult.

If you for instance, place a magnet polorized north to another polorized north they will never touch and if you don't know better, they float. Oh, look flying things! How cool is that? How magical!

Now, if you look at more things in the realm of magic and science you can also see the use of herbalism and the science of practicing medicine. The use of herbs was once (and still is) considered a magical practice but is now also used and explained by scientists (natrupaths, etc).

So I see it this way: Magic is the Science that Science hasn't yet discovered or explained yet.

Therefore I am a Witch and a Scientist.

I am actually a better Witch and a better Scientist because I am both.

For instance as a Witch I believe in reincarnation and as a Scientist I can explain it. That's something that I think is kind of cool.

Wonderful Blog

2010-05-10T22:55:00.000-04:00

One of the coolest blogs I read is Go Out Beneath The Naked Night.

I adore this blog especially last month! She did a whole blog series based on the menstrual cycle. Personally, I am fascinated by how each one of us looks at menstrual cycle. During her month long menstrual series she did a couple of giveaways and I actually won one! I won acacia honey. So if you haven't tuned into her yet, you should.

I can't wait to use my new jar of honey. What is special about this honey is the tree's link to menstrual blood and can actually be used in place of menstrual blood in spell work. Menstrual blood is generally used for love spells but if you extrapolate this idea you can use it for anything you desire. My idea is to create a special type of spell to help us ladies during particularly rough periods. Since I love to cook I am thinking of cooking something like granola bars using the special honey, some dark chocolate, etc. and charming them. What do you all think?

I read The Red Tent and it really started my interest. Before The Red Tent I looked at my period as something to endure and hide afterward I had a new perspective and now I started to read more which lead me to...

Kissing the Hag. This book is fantastic! It describes itself as The Dark Goddess and the Unacceptable Nature of Women. With a subtitle like that who can resist and let me tell you this book does not let you down. Every paragraph is another idea to think about and just go hmmm...

and My Little Red Book is neat looking but I haven't read it yet. You can maybe win it here, the drawing is May 16th.

What have any of you used your menstrual blood in a spell? If so how?

Being Crafty: Tarot Case

2010-04-26T19:04:00.001-04:00

I have been thinking that my cardboard boxes for my tarot cards are dying and I do not really like the wooden boxes because they are heavy, and I am always afraid I am going to crack them. So I made my own.

These I made with plastic sheeting (for strength and stability, so the cards don't bend) and fabric to make it look pretty. This case is made to hold a small book and a deck. I am also making them for each deck I have. (Which is a huge task lol I have 17 decks and each is getting a different fabric). Also what I think is important is making them washable (which means they aren't waterproof like most wooden boxes).

(Yes this seam isn't even but it is my first attempt so I intend to make it even next time.)

This is my first attempt, so tell me what you think, what you would change, etc.

Fear and Learning to Live With It

2010-04-13T01:25:00.000-04:00

"So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
-Franklin Delano Roosevelt, First inaugural address, March 4, 1933

Fear can be all consuming if we do not learn to face and embrace the thing we fear. I have spent a lot of my life learning to deal with my fears as have a lot of us, I think.

When we are children we are fearless but we do begin to learn fear, of the dark, falling, the unknown, etc as we get older. When I was a child I didn't fear the dark but rather spiders, roaches, and other creepy crawlies. I have worked so hard to get over this fear its ridiculous including researching and actually holding some creepy crawlies. One of the big things I always told myself was that quote at the top by Roosevelt, it became my mantra. Now I can deal with creepy crawlies as long as they are not in my personal space.

Fears always come from somewhere parents, experience, and just senseless horror. One of the school of thoughts is that some fears are hereditary such as fear of the dark, water, fire, etc. The fear was started because someone down your line experienced extreme fear or died because of said experience. One idea is that fears can come from your past lives as well for the same reasons.

What I find amusing are the fears that actually hinder our ability to survive because in theory it would be counterproductive. The fear of leaving your home, fear of food (yes, this is a real fear), fear of reproducing, these are all counterproductive to the biological imperative to survive and pass on your genes.

Now, coming from someone who suffers from what I call a counterproductive fear, reproducing. As a disclaimer, I am not pregnant but everyone I know is either wanting to start or have started a family. Now I am trying to learn to deal with my numero uno fear but I will be the first to admit I have no idea where to start.

This is an experience fear (as far as I can tell) from about three years ago or even further. First let me say my Mom is great. She is so smart, caring, and loving. She wasn't overly strict or too lack, she let us (my sisters and I) grow in our own way. However, our childhood wasn't awesome due to issues with my father which led to a lot of problems. I think these problems started my fear but what sealed it what happened three years ago. Three years ago I was dating a guy and it was a great and horrible relationship (very Jekyll and Hyde). At that time we were in the on again off again phase for a couple of months and during one of the on again moments I had a pregnancy scare. As most people realize this is a terrifying moment for any young woman. In being responsible I told my guy at the moment I was concerned and that I would be getting a test. He didn't take it well and had what I considered a nervous breakdown during which he threatened me (if I didn't get an abortion, such and such would happen). As it turned out I wasn't thankfully, the main reason being that I wouldn't have had an abortion. However, I think at that point is when I really became scared. Every year since around the same time of year I get terrified all over again.

I have tried getting over this by reading books, articles, and talking with people who have had children already. I have simply come to the conclusion that my fear isn't going to go away so I must learn to live with it. As a woman this is even more difficult because people are constantly asking when I am going to have children or when they hear that my cousin just had twins, they wink at me. So what would you do when you fear what your own body can do? What would you do if your body chose to betray you because that's the biological imperative?

So I rejoice my monthly (no matter how bad it is) and just keep saying "the only thing I have to fear is fear itself".

Soulmates

2010-04-07T00:55:00.001-04:00

I have a different view then most people on the subject. I think there are several people you reincarnate with because you have things to learn from them even if you have seen them before in another life. I think of them as SoulFamily.

However when it comes to The One, I do not think there is a one.

I think there are Two.

The reason being is that as people always have a choice. The good choice or the "bad" choice. This is why most people have The Ex and The One. The Ex is the other soulmate, they are the one you are inexplicably drawn to no matter what they do. The One on the other hand we can recognize from numerous love stories and fairy tales.

To give you a good example look at Beauty and the Beast.

If Belle was more tame and more like what the town expected of a good girl she would have been with Gaston (The Ex). However Belle is repulsed by Gaston (in this case she isn't drawn to him) because she isn't tame. Gaston though is drawn to her (even if it's to have her as a trophy) so he tries to force a relationship.

The story progresses and Belle makes the journey to the castle and meets Beast. Now Beast (The One) is unexpected but they are drawn together in an unlikely romance regardless of obstacles.

Now as far the the path for The Ex and The One. The Ex will always be easier initially because The One's path is full of stumbles that aren't hidden. These stumbles make you stronger in personality and in relationship. The Ex though as I said starts out as a nice paved road but close inspection reveals potholes and black ice.

As for the path of The Ex s/he isn't always an Ex at some point they will grow and be The One for someone else. No one is forever The Ex because there is someone out there for everyone.

I have even experienced this myself I have one I call The Ex. He isn't a bad man just not on the right path for me. I also have one I call The One who is a truly great man who I hope to build a really nice future with.

Witchie Survey

2010-04-06T20:59:00.001-04:00

From the Antics of a Tameran Witch

Basics

Do you have a magickal name?
No, I consider my name magical all on its own.

Does it have a special meaning?
Yes, see here

How did you find Wicca/Paganism?
I found my Craft through Tarot. When I was a kid I went to a store with my sister and found tarot cards. Which she promptly bought and gave to me, ever since then I have been on this path.

How long have you been practicing?
A while but always learning

Solitary or group practitioner?
Solitary for the most part. I work sometimes with two good friends.

What is your path?
I am eclectic, I guess, for I know no name for what I do.

Are you out of the broom closet?
Yes, for more click here.

Gods/Goddesses

Who are your patron Gods?
Kokopeli/Coyote for as long as I can remember. Even before I knew my path I knew him.

Who are your patron Goddess'?
The Fates in their many forms.

Which Gods/Goddess' do you worship?
I wouldn't say worship so much as an understanding and a deep respect.

Do you fear dark aspects of the Gods/Goddess, or rather, respect them?
"I respect them and embrace them. Without darkness there exists no light."
I agree.

Do you worship the Christian God?
I believe he exists but I do not worship him nor need him to "save" me.
Do you ever worship animals?
No, I respect and enjoy them.

Or plants?
Same as previous

Nature

Do you regularly commune with nature?
Yes, otherwise I am pretty sure I would go batty.

Ever walked barefoot in the woods?
Yes! I love walking barefoot (except in Florida too hot and fire ants).

Taken a camping trip just to talk to nature?
I have never been camping but I am hoping to change that very soon.
Describe the moment you felt closest to Mother Earth?
I was walking home from school and walked through a wooded area. I just sat under the tree and was at peace.

What is/are your power animal(s)?
I am not sure actually but I think cats (as cliche as that is).

Do you have a familiar?
Not at the moment. Mine died :( (For those that have familiars that have passed on yet still commune, I have chosen not to do so. The reason being is that he lived a long, hard life and deserves a cushie new life).

Have you ever called upon the powers of an animal in ritual?
Yes.

Or a plant?
Not yet.

Do you hug trees?
Aye, sometimes.

Give them gifts?
Aye.

What is your favorite flower to work with?
Dragonsblood.

What is your favorite tree to work with?
Birch trees

Wheel of the Year

What are your favorite holidays?
Samhain and Beltane

What if your least favorite holiday?
Yule but not because of the holiday but rather the "hoiliday season".

Have you ever held a ritual on a holiday?
Yes.

Ever taken a day off work to celebrate a pagan holiday?
Yes.

Do you celebrate Yule on the 21 rather than the 25?
Both, the 21st is for my pagan friends and me and the 25th is for my fiance and family.

Have you ever felt the Veil thin?
Yes.

Ever danced the Maypole?
YES! It is so much fun but ladies beware (watch that contraception).

Know what the Maypole symbolizes?
Yep!

Ever made love on Beltane?
hehehe Yes.

How do you usually celebrate the pagan holidays?
Cleansing shower, meditation, ritual, breaking of the bread.

Divination

Do you use Tarot?
Yes it is my favorite form of divination

Do you use runes?
No not yet. I hope to be learning the Norse runes as well as the Ogham soon though.

Do you use a pendulum?
I have a couple but I haven't used them yet aside from Yes-No questions (I am still learning).

Do you use dowsing rods?
Nope.

Do you use astrology?
Not especially but on my list of things to learn.

Any other form of divination?
I like the idea of reading tea leaves and palmistry but have yet to learn too much about it.

Spells

What was the first spell you did?
A blanketed truth spell, I was tired of being constantly lied to. Basically, the spell was meant to help me see the truth through their lies.

What was the latest?
General well-being spell I put into food.

Ever done a love spell?
NO

A job spell?
Yes.

A healing spell?
Aye

What was the most powerful spell you've ever performed?
This one I am not sure it depends how you look at it. The most powerful can be which one had the biggest energy or which one had the biggest effect. I choose the first spell I ever did, my Lost and Found spell. The reason being is that it was the first time I used a spell in such a way that really showed me magic was real. That was a life changing thing for me and definitely colored the way I saw/see things then and now.

Cryptozoology

Do you believe in Vampires? Werewolves? Shapeshifters?
Yes, to an extent. This explanation would require a couple of pages.

Elves? Faeries? Dragons? Nymphs? Sprites? Mermaids? Sirens? Satyrs?
See Above.

Angels?
Yes.

Ghosts/Spirits?
Yes.

Ever "seen" any of the above?
Yes.

Ever talked to any of the above?
Yes.

Ever called on any of the above in magick?
Yes.

Do you have one of them as a personal guardian?
"We all have guardians. Some of us can just see them."
I agree

Random

Do you see a rabbit, a man or a woman in the moon?
Depends on the day.

Own a cat?
Yes, Whedon my little orange devil.

When you meditate what does your sacred/safe place look like?
A mountain.

Do you work with Chakras?
Yes.

Do you believe in soul mates?
Yes, but this requires a long explanation. See here

Ever met one?
Yes.

Do you have a Spirit guide?
Not sure. Maybe.

Is it always love and light?
NO! Life is light and dark. You can not have one without the other. See a yin-yang.

Update before Updates

2010-03-30T14:47:00.005-04:00

I want to thank you all for your suggestions last post. They were great and exactly what I needed at the time and since that situation in dealing with those emotions.

My word this year is communication and with all your help it gave me tools with which to communicate without being confrontational.

So THANK YOU!

Its been a bit hectic here because a lot has been going on at work, home and in my head. This past weekend I had the chance to go to a science fiction and fantasy convention (I-CON).

I got to meet some amazing people and participate in some great panels.

THE PANELS
Zombie Film History

Zombies and movies go together like peanut butter and jelly. Come talk about the ways zombies have been portrayed from Night of the Living Dead (and earlier!) to Zombieland, and everything in between!

This panel was a lot of fun. One of the best questions was what is a zombie? Is it a death of self or a death of the body (and then reanimated by "magic", synthetic pathogen, or unknown pathogen?). So if you are like me and love zombie stories it definitely makes you think.

Witchville
Guest: Sarah Douglas

Discussion about the New Syfy Movie.

I went to this panel because of the lack of a read description and who can resist a title like that. So I went and had the chance to meet Sarah Douglas. What a neat lady! She was really funny and go with the flow type of woman. It was impossible not to like her which is really funny because she tends to play the villain. The movie actually looks really cool and reminds me when Sci-Fi used to have cooler movies that didn't have giant creatures attacking a remote location (that has no way to protect itself but some how the protagonists manage to survive for the most part).

Indie Publishing: Is it for you?
Guests: Jess Hartley, Geoffrey Bottone, iNDiRPG, Blix

This didn't really have a description but it was really interesting to see the differences in the type of publishing.

Pagans in Fandom
Guests: Cynthya BrianKate, John Schindler

This panel is inspired by the overlap sometimes seen between the Science Fiction/Fantasy/Medievalist/General Fandom communities and the Pagan community (Wiccans/Wicthes/Shamans/Energy-workers and other folks calling their spirituality Pagan. Many Fans are Pagan and many Pagans are Fannish, so the idea of this panel is to hear from some folks who are both about what that experience is like.

This panel was such a disappointment, it had nothing to do with either Pagans or Fandom but instead was about being transsexual, otherkin, therian, etc. I was really hoping for more and some really cool in-depth conversation. I am seriously considering talking to the people who run the convention and see if I could run this panel the way it was

Strange and Unusual Research
The title is the description and unfortunately not what it was supposed to be. It was about the science from Scrubs and House MD when I was hoping for so much more. Instead I listened to a study about how much cheese stretches, etc.

Not Fitting In: Transgression in Science Fiction and Fantasy
Guests: Jody Lynn Nye, Mike Resnick, Bill Fawcett, Barry Malzberg, Carol Emshwiller

Some of the best and most-liked fiction used to break the boundaries, dealing with issues like drug use, homosexuality, and even cannibalism and genocide. Has SFF become staid and conformist? Is that bad or good?

This was a fun and interesting panel. We started out talking about how science fiction has changed the mainstream views of things like aliens. One of the interesting things they brought about aliens was that in the fifties people would shoot an alien and ask questions later and now people are more likely to invite them in for dinner or something. Also the panel moved from aliens to vampires like a lot of panels because they are currently the big thing in sci-fi and fantasy. Another theory is that sci-fi broaches the hard topics and then are slowly introduced to mainstream once the sci-fi communities have digested them. The thing that came to my mind during this discussion was Repo! The Genetic Opera because it brings up an idea of about health care in a time not far removed from our own (look at the rise of plastic surgery).

Not Your Father's Dragon
Guests: David O. Miller, Drew Henriksen, Larry Sufrin,
Michael Swanwick, Naomi Novik

The evolution of the dragon, from ancient myths to Pern to today.

This was a good panel but for someone who reads a lot of folklore it was just a brief overview when I wanted more.

Science and the Public's Trust
Guests: Dr. John Marburger, Gary Shaw, Gordon Cooke, Tom Wysmuller

The global warming hacked e-mails… Austism and vaccines… chemicals and our the thresholds our bodies have for them… A discussion on these and other topics and how the Scientific community and the public can better interact and trust one another.

This was interesting but stuff I have heard in my classes already.

Writing Unique Heroes and Memorable Villains
Guest: Michael Terracciano
This was an awesome panel! Mookie did such an awesome job! The panel was smart and hysterical. He really showed the difference between flat characters and well rounded ones such as the Hercules type. When you read the following imagine him doing a silly voice and mimicking pull ups.

What do you do?
I train for the life changing battle.
What do you do in your free time?
I train.
What do you do for fun?
Train.

Superman: An American God?
Guests: Glenn Hauman, Keith DeCandido

Discuss some personal insights on how Superman has impacted culture.

This was a cool panel and it was neat to discuss the parallels between Hercules and Superman and well as discuss the Journey of a Hero in traditional mythology. This created interesting thoughts into what is a god/dess.

Beyond Ink and Paper
Guests: Robert J. Sawyer, Naomi Novik, James Frenkel, Jenness Crawford

What happens to fiction writing and publishing when "books" are just patterns on electronic storage?

This was really interesting because it discussed the different e-readers and the issues the book industry is having with Amazon. After this panel it made me want an e-reader so bad! I still can't decide what I want though: Kindle, Nook, Sony...? So many differing opinions and all I want is an e-reader that accepts all my different e-book formats with a good sized screen and a low price. Though I am seriously considering the Sony Reader due to its formats and payment plan.

Fairy Tale Mortality
Guest: Fantasy and Legends Organization
This was a really great panel too! I adore mythology and folklore and it was cool to talk about all the different stories and versions. The panelists were funny and smart too. I also got a whole host of new stories to read.

What is Human? The Meaning of Humanity in Science Fiction and Fantasy:
This panel was okay but generally sadly boring. Of the four panelists, one of them was a buzz kill and couldn't run a flowing debate if it killed him. The other three were interesting but rarely spoke because the buzz kill took over.

Twilight Zone - No Vampires Need Apply:

This panel discussed all your favorite episodes of Twilight Zone as well as identify why Twilight Zone was so great.

Unfortunately, the buzz kill was in this panel too but with extra curricular conversations the panel was saved and was kept interesting.

Michele Lang Reading from Lady Lazarus:
Michele Lang is one of my favorite authors and a great woman. I have seen her at every I-CON for the last several years and she is such a fun person to talk with. She is releasing a new book this fall and I am so excited. It is a historical/paranormal fiction set in the time period around the Great Wars. If you haven't read her books you should, her writing is fantastic! She has written Netherwood (futuristic) and Ms. Pendragon (Arthurian) and I loved both.

Just Add Sex
Guests: Jody Lynn Nye, Carol Emshwiller, Glenn Hauman, Michele Lang

Are "Erotic Fantasy" and "Erotic Horror" the next big things? Will "Erotic Space Adventure" follow?

This panel was just too much fun! Jody and Carol are great minds and they have a great sense of humor. Poor Glenn was the only guy on the panel so the amusement ensued! One lonely man with a room mostly filled with women talking about sex, hysterical!

I also got to hang with Michele, Glenn (a new friend) and Brandy (another new friend) it was so much fun and had a great flowing conversation. Its really nice to be able to discuss all the books I love and many other brainy things I love.

So, if you enjoy reading definitely check out the guests' works. If you go to conventions think about attending or improving some of the panels. If nothing else I hope it gave you something to think about like it did me.

Question for the Masses: Angry and Disappointed

2010-02-26T20:24:00.003-05:00

What do you all do when you are angry and disappointed in someone?

The reason I am asking is that I am trying to find a constructive way to channel my emotions into something I can do aside from confronting them.

When I am upset with someone I tend to confront them in a "Hey! Why are you doing that? Would you just stop now?" type of way. In this situation I can not do that because I don't want to speak to the person any longer. I would normally write about this in my personal blog on LiveJournal but I am deleting it becuase it would only bring trouble if I said what I really want to say and I am tired of writing on eggshells.

I would write it in my personal paper journal but I am tired of writing negative things hence the reason I have been deleting/burning old entries because I used to only write when I was upset, etc.

So yea, suggestions are greatly appreciated.

Kindness and Randomness

2010-02-15T01:13:00.003-05:00

This is quite a fantastic idea! I love the ideas behind this particular giveaway. I think if people really want to make the world a better place it starts with the little things we do everyday. The person who lets you go ahead in line because you have one item and they have a cart full. The person who holds the door or elevator for you when you are bogged down with a million items. These are the people that make our day much brighter even on the cloudiest of days. So...

YAY Domestic Witch! This is utterly brilliant!

I recently committed a Random Act of Kindness...

I was in the process of moving and was selling my guinea pig cage and many other things that go along with owning a guinea pig. So I posted it on craigslist and was contacted and got many monetary offers I ended up giving it away for free to a woman. The reason being is that she was a single mom and was desperate in that her "male" rabbits just had babies and she needed the cage to keep the rabbits separated. She was so thrilled and surprised that she even gave me a hug (which in this day and age very surprising between two absolute strangers). I was just so happy I was able to help her.

Curiosity Killed...

2010-02-14T01:01:00.004-05:00

Is there a deity who cares for and helps the stubborn?

I know strange thought but there seems to be a deity for everything, love (Aphrodite), strife (Eris), etc.

Main reason is that I stubborned (yes, new word) my way into a very painfully hurt back by moving three items that were beyond my capabilities at the time. I was told no so I pushed myself into doing it, go me.

So yea, I wish I knew because I totally should have called on them today to keep me from doing something really dumb.

Moving On: An explanation of the Storm In Part

2010-02-14T00:37:00.005-05:00

In my last post I alluded to a couple of things going on but didn't come out and say anything specific because I needed to decide how much of my overall life I wanted to share. The reason being is that this blog has been a safe haven for me without fear of reprisals and I feared changing this however part of life is about pushing your limits. And so...

I have kept a LiveJournal (LJ) since high school and I suppose it has served its purpose well enough. It has let me have a place to write about my day and get stress out, but now it has turned into something sinister. My once friend has made it her weapon of choice. She has wrote really nasty things about me after I wrote her a letter that was meant to help us work things out and instead drove us apart. The sick part is that I keep reading her LJ and it makes me second guess myself. This has gotten so bad that I keep checking with people to see if I really am as bad as she sees me. Everyone says no but its still wearing away at the little self-esteem I am trying to build. I know I should stop reading it but it makes me worry, what if I really am this horrible.

Because of this, I think I want to delete my LJ because I am just done with the "drama llama" trips. I understand life is drama but I don't need it compounded by the Internet and people creating extra drama through the Internet. I am concerned though, she used to be a really close friend and now look what has happened when I am outright honest with her and tried to really communicate, am I a bad person because she says I am or am I a good person who is misunderstood?

And the Storm Continues

2010-02-11T03:01:00.003-05:00

It seems that one thing after another has been piling up and that has brought me so far away from fully writing the many ideas I have been meaning to write here. However I hope this time will soon be over as a lot of the bad things piling up are slowly but surely going away. Part of me hopes this trend continues and the other part of me is still shaken by the great many things that have changed but also kind of is glad.

One thing is for certain life is never dull for me (even when its supposed to be).

I changed the format for my page if anyone is interested I am kind of proud as I was able to make a header out of a piece of art I really like called Witch Path by DeviantArtist Bridge Troll (http://bridge-troll.deviantart.com/art/Witch-Path-85783822)

As another tidbit I was thinking I would post some of the music I listen to as I write with the lines that made me think, so here it is: (I would add actual music but I am not sure how to do that)

The All-American Rejects: Move Along
Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When everything is wrong we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
[x3]

(Move along)
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along

Reiki, Bast, and Communication

2010-01-22T19:41:00.007-05:00

Yesterday was my first time getting Reiki. It was indescribable and left me feeling very up and content. Even now I still feel the effects which is really neat.

When I went home I faced a couple of things I didn't want to deal with but I have seen coming. This left me down but up at the same time due to the energy from the reiki. Before I went to bed since I love tarot I decided to pull some cards from a couple of different decks for a couple of different questions. My first card I pulled from my Goddess Guidance Oracle Deck for general wisdom on my journey.

Bast
Independent
"Your independence is a foundation for your strength and success"
Message from Bast: "Like the cat, you're fiercely independent, yet you also need affection and playful companions. Now is the time to balance your social interactions with solitude. While you may ask others for their opinions, ultimately you must make your own decisions. Your freedom and independence are top priorities, so ensure that these characteristics are nurtured."

I find this particularly amusing because my word this year is communication and I have been having issues with some people. I thought my problem was the fact that maybe I don't communicate well because I am harsh and blunt but that's not really it. I am frustrated and that's what makes me harsh. The blunt thing is just natural.

I am tired of people I know coming to me with their problems and then not following through for YEARS. It seems they are stuck in this cycle (and content with being miserable) and anything outside this cycle is unimaginable. Life is change, to stop changing is to die. A tree that does not bend will break in the storm to come. Repeating the same thing over and over and expecting different results is insanity. Et cetera so on. I am, in general, tired of repeating myself.

I am annoyed with myself because I have been holding back what I want to say. I stopped really saying what I have been wanting to say. I have stopped talking about the things I find interesting. One day I am just going to explode in a fit of gibberish of everything that is on my mind because it seems no one really wants to hear it.

What makes this harder is that I am never really alone anymore because everyone is always over (not that I don't like them its just alone time is good too). When people come over it seems that all they want to talk about is their problems that they have had for years and refuse to fix or about other issues. I do realize this is important to a point but is it all we can talk about? I would love to talk about books, ideas, what-ifs, movies, music, all sorts of crazyness.

I hope my newest move (yes moving again for the third time this year) will allow me to just say "No you can't come over. I want some me-time." equally with "Sure you can come over." What makes this all really funny is that I used to be called a hermit by my own Mother. I used to love spending days toiling away in my room working on a painting, a drawing, a piece of writing, etc or out and about on my own. I was rarely in the company of so many people on such a constant basis.

A weird thought on this is that maybe it has something to do with living in basement apartments. When I was in Florida in a ground floor room, I would spend so much time working on this and that all by myself. However when was living in New York and then came back to New York, I was living in basement apartments both times and was constantly around people in those instances. In the new apartment I told my fiance Chris (who I am living with now) and my friend John (who is moving in with us) that the new place MUST be above ground I can't live in another basement.

Who knew Reiki would be such an eye opener.

Wildcraft

2010-01-11T11:50:00.003-05:00

As mentioned in a previous post my friends and I do Secret Santa and I felt you all may like what I got my secret santa.

Thisis probably the coolest educational board game ever! It helps kids and people just starting to learn about plants by showing them what they can do and how to recognize them. It can even be played by the much younger kids because the pictures are so descriptive that the kids can understand them even without being able to read.

Plus when I ordered it it came with a whole mess of awesome free stuff which is still available. So far my favorite thing that came with it is The Herbal Roots Zine

Which I have had so much fun with as well. So I will be buying all the back issues of the magazine and my own copy of the board game. The board game makers are also affiliated with the site HerbMentor which I will also be joining because I want to learn more about plants and their uses.

My Word of the Year: Communicate

2010-01-10T01:47:00.002-05:00

I don't believe in resolutions and if I was to make one it would have been at Samhain but I do live in a world where this is the calender we use so this is how I mark it.

I choose the word Communicate.

It seems funny to write it here as it is exactly what I am doing, I am communicating with the great Interweb Metropolis but I have a lot of problems communicating.

When I was growing up lying was bread and butter in my family. The bad joke is I learned how to lie before I knew how to walk. Lying equated to survival in my childhood town. You never showed emotion and you never let on what you really were about otherwise it would come back to bite you. I survived and once I was out of there I decided that I wouldn't be like that anymore.

I have become blunt and harsh although I don't intend to be. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. It seems this makes me misunderstood and an outsider in the world for the most part. It has basically isolated me from everyone except those that know me well enough.

I need to learn how to communicate in such a way that I am not so blunt and honest but not lie.

I need to learn how to show emotion and not internalize it but also keep it under control.

Coolest Present Ever!!!

2010-01-09T21:45:00.002-05:00

My friends and I have a Secret Santa on the Twelfth Night but it came late this year due to us all working so we did the exchange tonight.

My secret Santa got me the.......

EPICUREAN TAROT RECIPE CARDS!!!

I have been wanting this for YEARS!

So don't be surprised if I start posting some stuff about that. I also will be posting new stuff soon as I have been writing a lot and soon will type it up for you all.

Creation Myth

2009-12-24T16:24:00.003-05:00

Creation Myth written by Me: If you are interested it is a myth wrote for a college class but to me it has actually had a really profound affect on me and my beliefs. Below is a summary of what the myth is about.

SUMMARY:
1. Chaos: The chaos is the war that is being fought.
2. Creations: Self-Explanatory
3. The Sin: Impatience, and thus creation of evil
4. Pythagorean Opposites and Traditional Symbols: Good vs. Evil, The ideas of The Fates, weaving as a traditional symbol of creation

A Simple Question

2009-12-20T16:11:00.002-05:00

A Simple Question from Mother Moon's Message

Mother Moon had a great idea and I would like to try this as well. Its rare that anyone sends letters anymore due to the rise of technology but nothing feels greater than receiving a letter in the mail even if its just a note quickly written. So if anyone would like me to write them email me your address at bsm.1987@hotmail.com.

Sabbats and Deities

2009-12-08T22:47:00.002-05:00

I have been reading a lot of pagan themed books recently the most recent being Crafting Wiccan Traditions: Creating a Foundation for Your Spiritual Beliefs & Practices. This is a great book so far even if you aren't Wiccan (saying as I am not Wiccan). It helped me clarify a couple of concepts for me.

My main deities are the Fates (Moirae). I refer to them as She-Who-Spins (Clotho), She-Who-Weaves (Lachesis), and She-Who-Cuts (Atropos). The Fates have counterparts that I call the Consorts. This title does not make them less than the Fates just different. The Consorts are the Horned One, the Green Man, and the Sage. The Fates are in charge of the laws of life (of all living beings) and women and the Consorts are in charge of the land and men.

The Fates can be many and one, they are the Fates as three and one. Meaning the Fates can be seen as three beings or as one being. The Fates are also the Muses and the Furies. The reason I link them is because that's always the way I have seen them. The Fates are the neutral parties that care for life. The Muses offer inspiration to bring light into life. The Furies mete out justice when needed.

The Muses consist of nine beings Euterpe, Polyhymnia, Terpsichore, Erato, Calliope, Clio, Melpomene, Thalia, and Urania. The Maiden or She-Who-Spins is seen in Euterpe (music and lyric poetry), Polyhymnia (sacred hymn), and Terpsichore (dance and dance music). The Mother or She-Who-Weaves is seen in Erato (marriage and love poetry), Calliope (rhetoric and epic poetry), and Clio (history). The Crone or She-Who-Cuts is seen in Melpomene (tragedy), Thalia (comedy and idyllic poetry), and Urania (astronomy and the heavens).

The Furies consist of the Erinýes ("the angry ones") and the Eumenídes ("the gracious ones"). The Furies are made up of an indeterminate number but three are recognized: Alecto ("unceasing"), Megaera ("grudging"), and Tisiphone ("avenging murder"). The Furies' other side the Eumenídes are not given specific names nor are they numbered.

Since Samhain is Pagan new year we can start there. I believe that the Crone and Sage enter the Underworld that night. I believe that my deities are never old nor young, they just are. They are not born nor do they die. They just enter the Underworld because it is part of the cycle.

At Yule they reemerge as the Maiden and the Horned One.

During Imbolc, the Maiden kindles the flame that reminds us all of the Spring to come.

Ostara is when the Horned One awakens the land and the Stag rules.

The Horned One and the Maiden consummate during Beltane bringing fertility and prosperity to the land and become the Mother and the Father (or Green Man).

At Litha, the Mother and Green Man reign, they are at their peak as Queen and King of Summer but from this time on they wane as they head towards Samhain.

Lammas is the time when the Mother and the Green Man begins to become a Crone and Sage. This is the time when we begin to reap what we all have sown.

Mabon is the time of year when we celebrate the bounty of the harvest and the Wolf reigns.

A note about the Wolf and the Stag. The Wolf and the Stag are similar to the Holly King and the Oak King but different because the Wolf and the Stag are under the Consorts. While the Fates control the seasons of life, the Consorts control the seasons of the land.

Update...

2009-10-15T13:54:00.003-04:00

Normally I try to keep my everyday insanity to a minimum here but due to my absence over the past month I feel the need to explain both to you my readers and myself I guess.

I made the move from Florida to New York safely for the most part in the beginning of September. Then came the awful task of trying to get my life together. When I came back to New York I was supposed to stay with a friend of mine which fell through. She lost her job and went on vacation without telling me I was going to have no place to stay. So I had to quickly find a place to stay. I couldn't stay at my fiance's because his parents' house is way too small but they let me stay there anyway for a couple of days. After many phone calls to family, I once again had to ask one of my friends to let me stay. Suzanne was amazingly generous towards me and let me stay with her.

I found a job on the Monday after I got back (I got back on a Thursday/Friday). I love my new job. It's great.

I found a kitten outside Suzanne's neighbor's home at 2am. So I kept it safe and asked the neighbors in the morning if the cat belonged to them, it didn't. Now I start kicking myself because not a couple of hours before I was telling Suzanne how much I wanted a kitten but I really can't right now due to not having an apartment of my own yet. Well, the kitten ended up staying with my fiance, Chris and I and he is a perfectly healthy (now 3 month old). We named him Whedon (after Joss Whedon) since I wanted one so bad and he appears in the weirdest way (much like in Buffy, or Firefly).

Chris and I finally found a great apartment about 3 weeks ago. So we have been working on settling in and such. The only problem with the apartment as it is right now is no internet. Chris and I will be hopefully installing internet in the coming week or two, but since finances are tight we aren't sure. We are pinching our pennies everywhere but its like the dam with holes in it. I only have so many fingers.

Location, Location, Location

2009-08-27T09:00:00.002-04:00

Pagan Prompt: If you were planning to attend a pagan ritual (public or private) and you realized that the ritual space was in a Christian church basement, would you have a problem with attending? Would you refuse to attend? Or would it make no difference to you? Does the location of a ritual matter, beyond the obvious usefulness of the space?

Having a ritual space in a Christian church basement actually wouldn't bother me. The reason it wouldn't bother me is because when you use a church basement they ask why you are using it and apparently it didn't bother them. It would make me nervous I'll admit because most Christian churches would freak out if they knew. I would definitely make it so that if anything were to happen I would have an exit strategy.

The use of a church isn't bad because it still has the correct environment for ritual if its a good church.

Personally, I prefer to have outdoors rituals. Even in winter even if its for a short time.

Ritual space is important because it is part of what sets the tone for ritual. If you are in a lousy space its going to affect all ritual participants. If you are in a great space with good mojo then you will have a great ritual.

In my opinion, everything about a ritual affects the outcome. Where you are. What your goal is. Who is involved. Why you are doing it. How you are doing it.

So if you are ever uncomfortable more than likely you will have a poor experience.

Thank you Liz over at Lizzie's Logic and Green Witch Tea! She gave me the Kreativ Blogger award.

Here are the rules of this award-

* Thank the person who gave this to you...
* Copy the logo and place it in your blog...
* Link the person who nominated you...
* Pass this Award on to seven blogs you like and let them know in their comments that they have won
* Name 7 things about yourself that no one would really know.

1.) I am very particular in everything I do.
2.) I am slightly obsessed with tarot in general, so much so I could get a different deck everyday and still want more.
3.) I am terribly insecure about myself.
4.) I am really good at motivating other people but am bad at motivating myself.
5.) When I read its better than any movie I have ever seen.
6.) I cry sometimes when I finish a really good book because its like I am saying good bye to good friends and I always want more.
7.) I adore trying new things and foods.

Blogs of note to pass this award to...
This part will have to wait until I have time to search and see who doesn't have this award already :D you are all such great writers!

Feminine Mysteries: The Cycles

2009-08-26T18:28:00.004-04:00

Pagan Prompt: Everything moves in cycles - the moon and sun, the seasons, the feminine energy in all of us.

How do you treat your cycle when it comes to fruition? Are you one to harness the power and make something of it? Or are you like me and completely taken over by it, and you want to hide in a corner until it's over? Do you connect this cycle with anything spiritual? Or are you more inclined to leave it as a mundane thing that cannot be ignored?

For the men or the squeamish women who read my blog you may want to stop reading now.

I waited to write about this until I actually had my cycle so I get down everything.

When I first got it I was like “okay, what the hell!” I was thirteen (my birthday, in fact) and very clueless. All I knew back then was that I was in pain, I was bleeding, and now had to worry about all sorts of girlie things. I was a tomboy and loved to do sports and such, so it was a real downer for me. At the same time I was very excited I was a woman, whatever that meant.

In a couple of months I really hated it. My family made it really hard on me. They did nothing but hassle me and tell me I was lying about all the pain I was in. Keep in mind I have never been squeamish, I often came home with lots of bruises, cuts, and scrapes and never complained. This made it really hard for me later to see anything in it except more pain.

Today, when I get my first tinge of pain, my first impression is still "Oh crap! why now?" My cycle always happens when I have like six other things to be doing that really need me at my best, not at my "Oh my good gods someone, anyone please carve my uterus from my body!" The reason for this is that I get extreme amounts of pain so much so it causes me to regurgitate and impossible to move. I have been to many, many doctors and no one can figure out what is wrong with me. They ran every test imaginable and all tests came back normal. The only thing my Mom and I can think of is that my uterus is an over-developed muscle that compresses too much. (This means pitocin/oxytocin can kill me in childbirth, it almost killed my Mom)

Since my periods were so crippling, I was/am the kind of gal who likes to curl up and hide especially since I get so weak. I find it really difficult to handle in general because I like doing so many things on my own. My fiancé and a couple of really close friends however, make sure I am taken care of because I have been to the hospital several times for dehydration and excessive pain.

This all changed about 2 months ago.

I finally had a "happy period". I never thought this would be possible. So for the past two periods I actually have been great. I still get the fear that is going to happen in the bad way again. I finally rejoice the fact that I am not pregnant for another month and although I still get weak its bearable. This made my periods almost a good occasion.

What was the big change you may ask, well it was three things. One, I started really tracking my periods so I can make sure my diet up until my period was promoting blood production and energy. I finally found the correct drug cocktail to cater to my horrible pain, which is muscle relaxants and Aleve. Last but not least, I started using a menstrual cup.

This relief actually has made it possible to be happy about my periods in general. I get to understand my cycles better. I understand the Moon better. I commune with the Goddesses of the World better. I also try to focus on all things feminine around my time of the month from folklore, to old wives tales, historical, iconic women, issues facing women today, anything really.

Sometimes however I just can’t even handle it and I just hide away from the world.

Talking about issues facing women today, I think we should try to make the necessary products we need as women every month as eco-friendly as possible. That’s how I came across the menstrual cup. When I first came up on it on Ideal Bite I was very stand-offish especially since the writers there gave them such a bad rap. I still wanted to find out more about it to give it a chance. The more I read about it, the more I loved it. It was the answer to some of my problems! I can’t use tampons because they make my pain worse, plus I bleed really heavily and I would have to replace them so often it wasn’t worth it. I really don’t like pads but they were the only other alternative until I found the cup. Honestly, ladies if you want to know more about it there is a community on LiveJournal which is an invaluable resource. I definitely say it was one of the best decisions I ever made.

Curious Wednesday

2009-08-26T04:00:00.005-04:00

Egg Timer

Hard-boiling an egg takes approximately ten minutes, but it isn't always as simple as that. Many factors can alter the time it takes. For example, in different parts of the world, hard-boiling an egg can take up to forty minutes. Why?

Clues

Elevation doesn't matter in this case. (Which stinks since this is where my mind went first.)
Outdoor temperature doesn't matter in this case.
What other factors affect cooking time?
What kind of bird are you assuming the egg came from?

On Friday I will post the answer on the comment page.

Creativity & Writing

2009-08-18T17:08:00.008-04:00

Pagan Prompt: How does your creativity level relate to your spiritual path? Have you gotten more in touch with your creative side because of your journey (perhaps out of necessity for ritual items)?

Or, if you've always been the creative type, has your 'portfolio' of creations changed a lot since you started your pagan journey?

My creativity relates to my spiritual path in that I create just about everything I have by hand or I try to buy it handmade.

I always loved to create different things. The creative things I have done since finding my path haven't changed so much because of my path but rather from me growing up. I suppose in most of my creative works which is different is that when I create something I put a little more thought into it and usually there is something of a Pagan sway to certain pieces.

Crafts I have picked up or have done over the years (the short list):

drawing
painting (figure, photographic, canvas, and theatrical sets)
photography
sewing (which I include lots of thread related crafts such as cross-stitching)
chainmail
armor building
making of coats of arms
spinning of wool
crocheting
trying to knit
gardening
site building (web design)
music (clarinet, choral, orchestra)
dancing
movie making
tattoo designing
writing (stories, blogs, poetry)
cooking
teaching
costuming
building random gadgets
making science experiments (real ones not the ones hiding in the fridge)

My creative outlets are many and diverse much to my Mom's dismay. I used to drive my Mom crazy because anything not nailed down in my room became a project, for example, I have painted my furniture because I thought it needed something.

In the past year when I was living on my own my creativity definitely took over my home, namely my cooking. I love to cook but was never really allowed to really stretch my skills because my Mom is highly allergic to lots of foods and the fact that she is such a great cook it was very daunting. I started cooking for the seasons and putting different foods together based on our needs. It was the real start of my kitchen witchery because I was able to practice what I have read and been itching to do.

Another big change actually only occurred in May when I started writing here. Over the years I was a die hard writer on paper but as things have changed towards the computerized stuff of the world I started typing. Granted I still write but I suppose now it seems a little easier and faster for me to write here. Probably because I know that this is legible even if I am not looking at my hands and if I need to fix something I can just hit a backspace as opposed to getting out an eraser or the white out.

Now a little off topic, but I wonder what people a hundred years from now will look back on. Historically we often search out people's journals, letters, papers, etc. but if everything is electronic for our era. What if they no longer use our technology, what will they have to show we even existed. I also find it scary I know two people who are four and seven years older than I, who can't write script and can barely read it. The story behind both is that their teacher just gave up on teaching it to them. (Which to me is so disgusting I want to track the teacher down and give them a piece of my mind)

Also what about hand-writing analysis, isn't their something about looking at someone's hand writing that's special and interesting. With handwriting you can also tell lots of neat things about people too such as, if its masculine or feminine, or about how they felt when they wrote whatever was on their mind.

The computer generated word is easy, great, and all that, but it doesn't tell you about a person or how they really feel unless certain shorthand is used.

What is scary about students today is that because they are so used to typing they forget how to write properly. I can't tell you how many papers I have edited and graded that were written in internet shorthand, or have basic spelling mistakes (based on things spell check sees as correct, but is the incorrect usage).

I miss when people actually used to write and it was beautiful. If you like you can take a look at the art below and you can see all the detail that when into just writing chi rho in the Lindisfarne Gospel.

To further my point the Kiev Psalter.

The Book of Kells
My point is this is when writing was an art form.

What does a Pagan wear?: A Response

2009-08-11T15:18:00.006-04:00

I think this is really interesting because we are such a diverse lot. I came to this topic by way of Alpine Sanctum (Part 1, Part 2) who came to it from I'm Not a Wiccan.

First I will say what I wear.
In public ritual:
Bottoms: I really like to wear long skirts (which actually aren't really heavy so I can wear them in summer). I don't like showing too much leg for some reason. I also like how feminine wearing a skirt makes me feel.

Tops: I then wear a shirt that generally is a certain color for a reason. For example for Beltane I wore a red shirt. I also change what kind of shirt I wear depending on the season like my very light thin fabric shirt isn't exactly brilliant for winter rituals.

At home:
My outfit depends on whether I am home alone or not, how many clothes I really put on. Like any good kitchen witch an apron is a must (you can see it in my post about Mundane Beauty). Aprons are especially important to me because I am always getting things on me (I am a bit of a clutz). I also generally don't go completely skyclad even if I am home alone. I am just not comfortable because I have issues with my self-image. I generally just get down to my underwear.

When it comes to utilizing SCA garb or RenFaire clothes those should only be used for those two things. We are in our own time and we should act like it at least in public. (and I used to be a SCAdian)

One thing I want to try is the head covering that Alpine Sanctum goes over. They are so beautiful. Once I enter that stage of my life I definitely want to try it. Something else to look forward to.

If you don't want to go all the way over to her blog for the link on head covers click here. If anyone has more information on this practice I would love to read it.

Nature Escape

2009-08-08T18:47:00.007-04:00

Pagan Prompt: What kind of nature escapes do you have where you are? Do you have a local trail that you can simply take a walk on to escape? Or perhaps you have some neat hiking nearby... Or maybe you are one of the lucky ones that can simply escape into your own backyard, literally. Share pictures if you have them.

Where I am right now I fear going into any kind of nature. I hate Florida for this reason. I love going outside and walk around, hike, go to a park, anything really. In Florida I am trapped inside by bugs, gators, snakes, heat, humidity, and the fact that any form of civilization is ten miles top of one another) there are woods and the ability to visit even bigger areas like the away (meaning that all I have around me are the snakes and gators-freaking swamp).

In New York (I know there is a huge misconception, no its not all city and we aren't all living on top of one another.) we have the Adirondacks if I feel adventurous. Also the beaches are close and there are plenty of lakes and parks. I really miss all my wanderings there and can't wait to get back.

Me at Midsummer 2008 Lido Beach, Long Island, New York

hehehe I found a crab

The Right to Die: A Response

2009-08-08T15:17:00.003-04:00

Two Witches: The Right to Die

After reading this I feel I need to respond.

For some background lets start with my Mom asked my brother-in-law to help her when she
has decided she has had enough and can no longer care for herself. She just doesn't want to be incapacitated or a vegetable. Which I more than understand.

I happen to agree. I wouldn't want to be a vegetable or incapacitated either.

I know a lot of people would accuse me of not caring about life, or of not honoring/respecting life but that isn't the case. I know I wouldn't want to suffer or be so incoherent I couldn't say good bye. I feel this is honoring life because I feel what type of life would we live and what of the lives of those who would care for us. Granted most people wouldn't want to die or want to let you die but in certain cases the misery is just too much for the patient and their families. We put animals out of their misery so they wouldn't suffer, why can't we make the same choice for ourselves?

As far as suicide goes I feel if you really choose that option its your life not the government's regardless of what they think. I think if people really want to commit suicide that the government should let them with certain laws being followed. The laws should be:

Therapy for one year up to three times a week. This therapy would not just be someone listening to your problems but also a chance to learn problem solving techniques to actually help you come to certain conclusions to actually change your life. If your problem is so bad that after that much extensive therapy and you can't fix yourself and the problem then go for it.
You must be over the age of twenty-one. (The reason being if you are younger you have yet to experience enough things to make such a drastic decision.)
It must not be a secret. Those around you should know of your plans. (To start the grieving process and less shock on family and friends)
Your death is your decision on how you want it, however it must not interfere with public events or harm another person bodily. (The reason being is that your death isn't a stage and you can't use it to kill or maim someone)
If you choose this option you also waive any rights to life insurance.

The exception to this would be medical suicide. If you are in a medical situation and have a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate Order) you can stipulate that if you end up a vegetable or are in agonizing pain you have the right to ask medical personnel to help you commit suicide. Also this form of suicide would not affect life insurance. Your beneficiaries would still get their inheritance because at some point in the future after much pain and suffering it would be their's anyway.

What do you all think?

Mundane Beauty

2009-08-07T15:55:00.005-04:00

Make your blog post today about the beauty surrounding you, hidden within the mundane. It could be something you see or do every day, that suddenly feels magical. Tells us a story, and help us to feel that magic too.

Beauty is everywhere, we just have to take the time to notice it, and recognize it as such.

Mundane Beauty I find in cooking. When I first started cooking I was amazed how magickal it felt. I was young when I first started on my pagan path so I never really cooked (I was lucky my Mom is an awesome cook). When I won the basket and started regularly cooking it just caught on with me.

My favorite tools are my apron and spoon. By itself its pretty plain but I think they are beautiful.

I won them at a Beltane festival in 2008. At the festival it was a raffle and it was the only thing I wanted. I never win anything so I sat out there and was like please please please! I actually won three times that day. Including a bunch of jewlery which I gave away (since I kept winning), a beautiful cigar box that someone collaged, a rose quartz pendulum, and of course the Cucina Aurora basket.

My apron is a white apron with a little kitchen witch you can see it here. The spoon with the triple moon and you can see an example here. (In the basket I got some of the oils from the proprietor of that shop too. Delicious.)

I love domestic witchery and kitchen witchery. It definately goes to show you how everything happens for a reason because before I really started taking care of my home and cooking I never really looked into them. I thought they were interesting but without my own home I never saw the point of studying them. Now these two ideas have really taken over my wandering path.

Good News!

2009-07-28T20:02:00.003-04:00

I am engaged!

Which means you can expect to see some posts about handfastings and different traditions over the next year or so. As far as separate ceremonies you can see my reply here.

Independence

2009-07-19T13:32:00.004-04:00

Pagan Prompt:
Is it important for you to take the journey alone?
Do you work/study with a coven, then practice on your own?
What kind of things need to be done alone, and which are best done in groups?
What do you do most often (work in groups or alone)?

I feel even if you work with someone or not, your journey is still your own. All journeys are specific to the person so you are always alone. I generally practice on my own but I have worked with a coven once. The coven experience was actually really bad for me. If done in the right way a coven can be a beautiful and great experience.

Most work should be done on your own because your path is your own. However even working in a group your work can be your own because in a good group its like each person is a thread that is weaved into a rope. Each is their own but still in it together. I currently work on my own, but I hope one day to be in a group like I just described one day.

Summer Solstice

2009-07-19T13:14:00.005-04:00

Pagan Prompt: Just a quick post today - Share with us what the Summer Solstice means to you.

Sure, it's the longest day of the year.... but what makes it a special day to YOU?

This topic is actually really hard for me to explain.

A lot of different things happen this time of year:
The Holly King and the Oak King battle
The longest day of the year means each day after is closer to Autumn
The Sidhe roam. (and no I am not talking about Tinkerbell)

Each one means different things for me but I can't seem to put it into words.

Losing Touch

2009-07-19T13:01:00.004-04:00

Pagan Prompt: What do you do to recharge and re-energize? How do you get back in touch with yourself after being so caught up in the mundane of every-day life, work and bills?
Also, I'm curious how you recognize that you've lost touch. Is there some sort of signal, some sign that you notice, that tells you it's time to take a break?

I am currently trying to get myself going again and I have been trying to make myself do several different projects I hope one of them will get me going again. I try to hit all the basic groups that generally help me spark like creativity, physical achievements, and such. I kind of notice when I start to feel really really out of sorts and don't really want to do anything. I also tend to get really moody and such when I am out of sorts. So I take notice then.

This is also why I have been having problems updating here but I will be updating a lot this week in theory! :D

Altar

2009-07-15T13:48:00.007-04:00

Pagan Prompt:
What does your altar look like?
What kinds of items do you include, and why?
What does each item symbolize, or what purpose does it serve?

My current altar is a children's step stool. The reason being its easily put away in a drawer and I can bring it just about anywhere. My altar needs to be small and movable because I am currently living in my older sister's house and not that she isn't fine with my beliefs I don't feel its nice to shove it in her face either. On my altar when it is set up there is a candle/s for my deities, my athame, and my book. My athame is really important to me for various reasons plus the fact that its a great tool. My book because I use it for everything.

The picture above is my altar from Midsummer.
The black and the white representing my deities.
The Sun candle I used to represent what is occurring this holiday.
My athame is between my deity candles. (its a very dull stilleto which means it hides the blade in the handle)
The rope is what I use to cast my circle because I like a visual representation expecially when I am doing workings indoors.
The green candle is representing Earth.
The bowl with the white paper inside has specific herbs and such underneath it for a working I did that day.
The book you see is my new book of the craft before it was blessed and consecrated.
The yellow sheet was for my knees because I hate that carpet and its a lot easier on them.

Tarot Spreadsheets and Covers

2009-07-05T15:36:00.009-04:00

Sorry guys I have been MIA because I have been making a pagan networking site. If you are interested click here. I created this group to focus on alternative religions.

I will be more up and running this week and I will be happy to catch you all up on what I did for Midsummer and Independence Day. In the meantime...

Here is a craft I really like to do that requires next to no skill. This can also be found at Gaea's Garden: Crafty Witch group

I usually when I feel so inclined will make a craft of combining these two things but you dont have to.

If I combine them: I generally will find a fabric in the color I like and I feel will go well with my cards and I pick up a base cloth in similar material.

If I don't combine them, the base cloth can be whatever you like I prefer black though because it makes the cards stand out a little better.

I usually make it about the size of a good sized end table. Two feet by Two feet is usually good.

I start by decorating the base cloth with a diagram of a spread I use often. In order to get the proper size of the cards for the spread I use the blank cards and a piece of chalk.

(If you have two different sized decks I recommend making two different sets of spread sheets. When combined they aren't as pretty.)

Then I take out fabric paint (the good kind that doesn't flake like crazy) and make the outlines of the cards with what that placement means. The reason I do this because the querant asks often what placement means and that way they can read it.

(You can also use acrylic paint because it stains. You can also cross-stitch or embroider if you like)

After the base cloth is decorated I will wash it either in the wash or hand wash it (depending on the fabric)

(If you used two cloths wash them together. When they are dry, I will sew the two cloths together to make one cloth.)

Depending on the deck sometimes I will not make a tarot card cover a spread sheet. Some cloths are just painted with symbols.

Some of the cloths I make are only for spreads and I wrap the cards I am using at the moment for the reading in the spread sheet.

Interesting Thought Provoking Question: Deities

2009-06-14T13:26:00.010-04:00

Found on another journal. Thought it might be of interest for discussion. Post your thoughts in the Comments area and don't forget to watch for the replies.

Did the gods create man, or did man create the gods?
If man created the gods, can man also destroy the gods?
If the gods created man, then WHICH gods created man?
If man created the gods, did they grow as men grew?
If the gods created man, have they changed since they created man?

I included this video because it is also about deities and brings up the controversial mixing of pantheons. Its pretty neat.

My Initial Reply:
If neither created the other how about this. Over time man and the gods began to look around and see one another. They than began to affect one another and thus came man's relationship with the deities.

Personally I leave everything on The Fates they are older than man and the gods in my opinion. The reason for this is because both had beginnings and endings unlike The Fates who have been the same through out.

Book Of Shadows

2009-06-10T14:08:00.003-04:00

I have made the decision to restart my Book of Shadows (using this name until another comes to mind). I know this is a huge undertaking.

The Reason:
I kind of lost track of where I was after the coven debacle. They caused me to back step and lose track of where I was in my studies. They weren't as active as I am. They didn't seek as I do. They liked to chat and henpeck, I do not.

The Solution:
Granted I let it happen but I think rebuilding my Book will allow me to get focused again. Since I am starting from scratch it will also allow me to fix the format (I hated my old format). It will also allow me to add more of my art and newer knowledge in a easier way.

Sacred Space

2009-06-06T00:40:00.006-04:00

Pagan Prompt: Do you have sacred space designated? or is it something you only create when you need it? What kind of space do you like to use (indoor, outdoor, etc)?

I currently do not have one set-up because I just moved and its not my house. I like having one set-up because its nice to have. Most of the time I go about creating it when I need it. I prefer outside but for the last long while that has been unavailable to me. Inside isn't bad but outside is better for me.

Books

2009-06-01T13:55:00.005-04:00

Pagan Prompt:
What pagan book has had the most influence on your spiritual growth and why?

I have a way around only choosing one book! I choose The Well-Read Witch: Essential Books for Your Magickal Library by Carl McColman. This is a great book because it lists a lot of the most important books in a pagan's library as well as a small blurb about what they have to say. I take so many ideas from so many different sources this book is perfect for my spiritual growth. It even has books I never heard of before and describes them. I highly recommend this for any pagan or witch.

Separate Ceremonies?

2009-06-01T13:53:00.005-04:00

Pagan Prompt: If you were to plan your own Wedding or Funeral ceremony, would you create two separate ceremonies for pagan and non-pagan folk, or would you just plan a ceremony around your own personal beliefs? How would you feel if any non-pagan friends or family did not wish to attend such a ceremony?

If I were to have a ceremony, any ceremony there would be only one. I am pagan so it will probably be in my beliefs. If I was getting married to my current boyfriend it would probably be pagan because he isn't involved in any religion and thus lets me do as I wish. My non-pagan friends and family know of my pagan beliefs and are either (a) think its great, (b) indifferent but postive, or (c) very negative. In my opinion if I have a pagan ceremony and people don't want to come because of my beliefs than I don't need them around at all in the ceremony or my life. I don't like having negative people around me especially when it comes to very important ceremonies such as weddings and funerals.

Divination/Guidance

2009-06-01T13:52:00.006-04:00

Pagan Prompt:
-Do you use any form? If so, which do you use, and which do you prefer (if you use more than one form)?
-Who/What do you get your answers and guidance from? Angels? Ancestors? Your Higher Self? Universal Spirit? etc
-What kinds of limitations are there in divination? Do these hinder or help you on your spiritual journey?

I love my Tarot cards they are really the only form I am successful at on my own. I need a little help with other forms.

I like to think I get my answers from The Fates, deities, or benevolent forces. Saying as I am usually pretty good when it comes to my cards I suspect this to be true.

The limits in divination is that the future can change with a decision as minor as whether you want coke or sprite. That is why I don't use the cards to read the future. I use it as a guide for current affairs. I also use it to help me see things about myself. I like to think they help because they help me view things in new ways, help other people, and help me be introspective.

Beltane/May Day

2009-06-01T13:51:00.013-04:00

Pagan Prompt: It's Beltane (or almost, anyhow)! Do you celebrate or honor this holiday? If so, how?

I was only able to honor this holiday in passing this year. Which is very unusal for me. I unfortunately was moving at the time. So since the spirit of this holiday is growth, renewal, and bringing in the new I succeeded at that. So in a weird way I did celebrate but usually I do more.

Earth Day

2009-06-01T13:51:00.012-04:00

Pagan Prompt: "Make Every Day Earth Day."
Does the same apply to you? Do your Pagan beliefs lead you to be more eco-conscious in your daily life? Or are spirituality and "being green" 2 separate things? What are some of the ways that you are eco-minded in your life, or how do they relate to being Pagan?

"Make Every Day Earth Day." is definately something I try to live by. My Pagan beliefs do tend to make me more conscious of what I am doing and thus more eco-conscious so yes they do effect my daily life. I try to eat organically when possible. I try to limit my waste and recycle. They relate to Paganism because Paganism is an earth based religion and thus makes it part of our beliefs to care for the earth.

Rituals

2009-06-01T13:48:00.006-04:00

Pagan Prompt: Do you perform rituals? Or are they not right for you?
If you do, give us a basic outline of a ritual you've done in the past.
Share a little insight into what rituals mean to you and how you go about them.

I perform rituals because I think they are beautiful. I often find they can get stale if they aren't changed often and active (not like church where you stand and hum along). Anything to raise your energies and such should be used. There are rituals that only require drumming and there are rituals that only require singing or dancing. Depending on the reason my rituals change all the time depending on my mood and what I feel is right for the occasion.

Rituals can be very basic or can be very complex. I have participated in both. Instead of giving a outline to a ritual (since mine change often) I am going to write what should be included in rituals. Lots of symbolism. If its a holiday it should include the story of the holiday or in some way describe it. It should be active there should be motion singing, dancing, drumming, something that is physically stimulating. It should be meaningful and honoring. It should honor the deities and the elements.

Rituals are just another way of communicating with the deities. It nice and beautiful but actually not necessary. So if you do them great if you don't that's fine too. Its all about raising energy (usually for a purpose), communication and honor.

Natural Wonder: Frog

2009-05-21T18:11:00.005-04:00

Today I woke up and it was slightly overcast down here in Florida. Although usually uninteresting I noticed a frog on my window. Okay its Florida frogs are everywhere. What was unusual was that the frog was between the window and the screen. I don't sleep with the windows or screen open so this was really odd. I mean how did it get in there. So I caught him/her and set him/her free. Looking at the meaning was really interesting because of the fact that I am in transition and I am working at trying to get rid of my creative block.

I have a feeling that maybe it was meant to be a message from the Powers That Be.

So tree frogs symbolize:
Creativity, Fertility, Luck, Cleansing, Intuition, Transformation, Purity, Rebirth, Renewal, Healing, Metamorphosis, Transitions, Dreaming, Opportunity, Intermediary

Due to the fascinating transitions the Frog goes through in its life, it is a symbol of metamorphosis. Furthermore, the Frog’s dual time spent on land and water represents duality of the soul. The Frog also symbolizes creativity and forward thinking.

Frog Animal Totems Facilitate:
Patience in undergoing life transitions, clarity of thought during transition;
Embracing of personal transformation, welcoming internal morphing;
Jump into creative thought, and leap out of habitual thinking patterns;
Acceptance of our diversity and celebration of our opposite poles found in personality and lifestyle. Thank you symbolicmeanings.com

The Broom Closet

2009-05-18T18:21:00.007-04:00

Pagan Prompt: Are you in or out of the Broom Closet?

I am neither. I do not lie if someone asks but I do not post billboards about it either. I wear my pentacle when I like. However, I try to keep it out of the workplace because people misunderstand. People assume the worst. I don't have the ability to turn people into frogs or fly a broomstick (as much fun as that would be).

My current witchie jewlery is a capsule necklace containing a compass. This is witchie because I have enchanted it to help me find the right direction. (I'm a little lost at the moment)

What makes me Pagan?

2009-05-17T16:24:00.007-04:00

Pagan Prompt: What makes you a Pagan?And don't just say "Because I'm not Christian".... I would like to see you fully explore how your beliefs fit with those typical of other Pagans. What is it about you and your life that made you associate with the label of "Pagan"?

The word pagan comes from the Latin paganus which means country dweller, rustic. Today it is an umbrella term with lots of terms underneath, to name a few are Witch, Wicca, Asatru, Hermeticism, Helenistic religions, Reconstructionism, and many many others. What a lot of pagan religions have in common is the fact that its our job to care for the Earth and many promote activism in green issues. Many are also polytheistic which means they believe in more than one deity.

I am pagan because I am polytheistic. I believe in many different gods and goddesses at the head of these deities are the Fates. The reason for this is because even the gods and goddesses rise and fall. The Fates always remain. I also live within the Earth's cycles. I respect her. I try to be as green as I can to help the Earth and its inhabitants. I recycle, I compost, I use green products (when I can), I try to eat organically, I grow my garden organically (when I have the ability to garden), and I also took part in animal rescue. I try to leave the world a better place.

I am a witch because I practice witchcraft. I am not Wiccan for I do not hold to their tenets. I don't really follow a specific set of rules per se I kind of go with my gut. I follow The Fates, The Furies, and The Graces whereever they may lead me.

I have been a witch for as long as I can remember. Its just what I have always been.

That's probably as basic a definition as I can give. :) Comments Welcome!

Edit:
I also really like this:
Have you ever...
By Emily Rose Matthews
The Temple of Cybele - June 2009 Newsletter

You ask me, "Why are you a Pagan? What do you mean, you worship nature?"

Have you ever... climbed a mountain ?
Stood at the precipitous edge and gazed out at the valley far below;
Watched an eagle or a hawk, fly and navigate the winds as he swooped and dived in an aerial dance of pure living;
Saw the incredible beauty of the world laid beneath your feet;
Or marvelled at the artwork in a rocky formation of enormous proportions?

Have you ever... swam in the ocean?
Let the currents of waves generated hundreds of miles away carry you;
Tried to follow a school of fish, or a single crab, as they scattered about looking for food amongst their own private underwater garden;
Gazed in awe at the wondrous colors in a totally alien world within our own;
Or sat on a beach and gazed at the sunset over the water, feeling totally at peace?

Have you ever... walked in a forest?
Wondered at the tallness of the trees, considering their age, numbers and variety;
Watched the multitude of life-forms, from a nest of baby birds to a colony of ants working diligently to maintain their own little world;
Felt joy at seeing the new spring leaves, or melancholy at them falling in autumn;
Or enjoyed the feeling of solitude, yet sometimes wondering if you are being watched?

Have you ever... looked at the stars ?
Sought to find the pictures of ancient constellations in the different patterns;
Tried in vain to count them, and feeling small, yet somehow kind of special in the overall scheme of things, having been born at all ?
Experienced the excitement of spotting a shooting star, or the northern lights;
Or wondered, with all those stars, and all those worlds, if we are alone or not?

You ask me, "Why are you a Pagan? What do you mean, you worship nature?"
If you have done any of these things and can still ask, you'd never understand the answer.

Taken from Hedge and Hearth: Have You Ever...

Heads Up: Pagan Prompts

2009-05-17T04:50:00.003-04:00

For the first couple of posts here I will be answering questions from Pagan Blog Prompts. You will know this because in the title it will appear:

Pagan Prompts: (Title of Prompt)

After this I will continue on with my adventures.

Merry Meet & Welcome

2009-05-17T04:23:00.003-04:00

I am Beth. I have gone by several different names: Raissa, DemonicaKina, CatWitch, Wee-One, Jinx and so many more. However Beth I think really suits me. Beth in Hebrew means home. In the Ogham it is the second letter and the symbol of the Birch tree. It is also the love name for my Grandmother from my Grandfather.

I have been a practicing solitary witch since the Samhain of my tenth year. Currently I am twenty-two. I am not a Wiccan. I am a very eclectic pagan. I take my path from lots of different places and ideologies (as you will see).

I once called New York, USA my home but currently I am in the wind. I am looking to set down roots with my very creative and brilliant tag-team partner, Chris. I have a very ornery guinea pig named Leo. As I am working hard to become a high school science teacher.

Why I am the way I am... well that's kind of why I am here. I am still figuring that part out.

The How of this is by writing about what I meditate about, dream about, strive for, and the like and see what I can make of it all. You are more than welcome to come for the ride and beware of turbulence!